Sam - 30 Oct.2021 - Losing my cool

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Sam - 30 Oct.2021 - Losing my cool

I feel so mad right now. I shouldn't, cause I did the very same. And I would never tell him. I feel bad to be mad for that test thing. Shit. Maybe it's just that I want to be mad at him, but why? It's kind of real stupid of me. The cheater cheated!!! Not a great feeling. I didn't feel like doing this Halloween stuff tonight.

Je me sens de mauvaise humeur là. Je ne devrais pas, parce que je ne peux lui jeter la 1ère pierre. Je ne suis pas meilleure. Mince. Peut-être que je cherche bêtement des raisons d'être enragée contre lui? C'est un peu ridicule je l'admets. Mais bon.

(flûte comment on dit "cheater cheated????) chercher.............

Cause anyway, I can't go anywhere. I have to wait for that fucking 2nd vaccine.

And even if I shouldn't, I still feel annoyed seeing Pace being nice to Natacha. I know he's a nice guy, but still. He shouldn't do that. He thinks that he's being nice, but it looks like he's giving her hope man. Leading her on. I told him that. Couldn't avoid to hide my feelings. He could hear and sense I was annoyed.

Pace didn't even answer or comment. I just saw the frowning. That annoyed me.

They planned to go out tonight. I couldn't go of course, but pretended I didn't mind. I told him to go, even though he wanted to stay with me. That we could spend the evening at his place. I was kind of mad at myself. Too stupid to act on it and accept him to just stay. Great, so stupid me spend my evening alone watching a stupid movie on TV. Pfff.

I waited for him the whole night. He came back half drunk, leaving his car God knows where. And fell asleep almost immediately. That was kind of shitty. At least he could have made the effort to spend a little of his freaking time with me after spending the night out, right? Or am I too demanding? I was pretty pissed.

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